Friday, September 24, 2010


Ok, I offer a warning to all readers...this is my raw unfiltered thoughts so if this might cause offense, you may want to stop reading.

Sometimes I hate life and most times I am frustrated with my own existence. It's like the little black cloud over Eeyore hangs over my head all the time. I always feel like I am frustrated, impatient, waiting for something. What in the world would I be waiting for? I have everything a woman could want. I have been offered everything beautiful from my heavenly Father. What in the world is there to wait for? Why is that little black cloud always hanging over my head? I know God gave life as a gift, but maybe I need to be more thankful. I guess there is so much about life that confounds me. I could blog for hours regarding my questions and feelings about life. I feel like I always have my galoshes on and that I am tramping through the mud. Every now and then I have a day where the sun seems to shine through. Why do those days even come?? It teases me to think that every day should be that way. Ideally, it would be nice. I wish I could sort out the questions about our purpose, about our existence, and come to some peace within myself. I am learning so much, but sometimes it is just so stinkin hard and overwhelming! I blogged the other day about wanting to be Pollyanna when I grew up, but instead most times I feel like that persnickety red-headed lady instead. Well, there is my venting for the week. I imagine that a little more time at the feet of Jesus would be the best thing for me. A little quiet time on my knees, maybe a good cry (if I could), and some peace inside. I will be patient and hope that someday life makes a little more sense.

So, if anyone read this and wish they hadn't...I truly apologize. But if you happen to have any great insights about life, please share. :)

2 comments: said...

Dude! You are anything but that crotchety red-head old bitty. To all who knows you you ARE the very essence of sunshine.

Pencil2Paper said...

The Vector Dude above knows what they're talking about!! Look at just about everyone in the Bible...they all had "days like this"....they wanted more out of life and because of that God was able to use them. You Know, it's been a while since I've seen PollyAnna Sunshine....but if I remember....Polly and the Red head ended up working together to make a smash of a party....God uses all of us...every bit of us...even when we're not looking :) I'm so glad I read your post...thank you so much for writing <3