Cinderella Christianity

I thought I was created for more. I am not sure if I had a fairy tale view of Christianity, or if it was blind faith and the zeal of youth. When I was young I wanted to be like Florence Nightingale, or Pollyanna. If I couldn't bandage people's wounds, then at least I could change their lives and make them smile. My dreams were nice. I truly wanted to be something great. A few years ago, we thought about working overseas somewhere as missionaries. I still want to be something great, but I have come to accept that whatever God has given me to do right here, right now...IS great. I may not feel great sitting in my jeans, t-shirt, and hair up in a pony tail. I may be crabby, frazzled and covered in laundry. This work is what God has called me to do. It IS doing the work of God, and it is great. I don't feel holy doing the dishes, though it would be nice. Maybe some day I will wake up and find myself somewhere wiping the brow of a wounded and dying soldier. Maybe instead, I will be skipping down the streets in pretty dresses, singing to the forlorn, and making them smile. I think that even then I would not "feel" like what I was doing was something great, or holy. I think that I can enjoy what I do each day, and know that God looks upon me with joy just for living and loving Him, and doing what I do to the very best of my ability. Maybe I am living out my happily ever after.

Be still and know that I am God...Psalm 46:10

I happen to be the world's worst person at being still. Anyone who knows me knows that I am always moving, walking, running, biking, cleaning, baking, sewing...anything EXCEPT being still. If I am still, I am playing solitaire. I was thinking about this during one quiet moment of my day today and am realizing how much I am missing. Most of us, including me, are on a continual search to make sense of our lives. I have spent much time watching others, reading books, and striving to DO what was "right." When all pretty much failed, I found myself down in the mud. I have spent the last year or more wondering why I woke up with a face plant in the mud. Well, I am seriously wondering if spending more time being still...doing nothing but pondering the activities of my heart and mind would be more beneficial than DOING so much. After all, it was Mary's heart that pleased Jesus so much, and not Martha's. I know God holds all the answers to my life and the answers to my heart's deepest desires and longings. He created me. He knows me best and loves me. I aim to spend more time being still and leaning on my Creator. I have a strong feeling that I may have a deeper sense of peace and understanding in addition to a better relationship with my Father.

So in the attitude of stillness....